I'm drive I can fine osifer
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
nutella sex= disaster
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
