Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
