I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
