kristin has been a bad kristin
I faked an abortion last night.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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