The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
