dude i'm inner monologue high
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
