I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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