I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
