Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
