Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
