youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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