He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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