I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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