from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
