I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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