They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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