I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
