you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
