She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
