So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
