i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
