Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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