Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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