We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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