the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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