TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
