His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
