i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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