Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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