If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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