can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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