I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
