I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
