Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
