God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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