i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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