so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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