I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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