grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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