My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
