my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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