I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
