it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
