I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
