Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
