I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
