Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
