The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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