my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
