You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
