Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
