I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
